Whose Goals Are We Chasing?

Aligning ABA Plans with Client Assent and Family Priorities

If you’ve ever sat in an ABA team meeting, you know there are a lot of voices at the table: parents, teachers, therapists, sometimes even doctors. But one voice that hasn’t always been loud enough? The client’s.

ABA has come a long way from its early days. Today, the best therapy doesn’t just focus on what we think is important, but on what the individual wants and agrees to work on. That’s where assent comes in.

What Is Assent in ABA?

Assent is essentially your client’s way of saying, “Yes, I’m okay with this.” It doesn’t always come as words—sometimes it’s body language, willingness to participate, or the absence of resistance. It’s about respecting the individual’s right to be an active part of their own therapy.

For younger children or individuals with limited verbal language, assent can look like:

Smiling, engaging, or leaning in when presented with an activity.
Choosing a preferred item or skill to work on.
Staying at the table or in the activity willingly (rather than avoiding or protesting).

For older kids, teens, and adults, it can mean directly involving them in goal-setting conversations:

Asking, “What would you like to work on?”
Offering choices instead of directives.
Respecting when they say “no.”

Why Assent Matters

Therapy should never feel like something done to a person—it should feel like something we do with them. When we prioritize assent:

We build trust and positive relationships.
We reduce the risk of therapy feeling coercive or overwhelming.
We increase motivation and engagement (because clients are working toward goals that feel meaningful).
We model respect and autonomy.

Bottom line: skills stick better when someone chooses to learn them.

Balancing Family Priorities and Client Voice

Of course, parents and caregivers also play a huge role in shaping goals. Family priorities like toilet training, communication, or daily living skills are incredibly important. The key is finding the overlap between what families need and what the client is willing and motivated to do.

Instead of:
“Let’s work on greeting strangers.”

Try:
“Let’s work on greetings in ways that feel safe and comfortable for the client, while still supporting the family’s goal of community inclusion.”

Practical Ways to Prioritize Assent in ABA

Offer Choices Often: Let clients pick the order of activities, materials, or even which goals to tackle first.
Watch for Non-Verbal Cues: Resistance, avoidance, or shutting down are often ways of saying “I don’t agree.”
Reframe Goal-Setting Meetings: Invite clients (when possible) to contribute their own goals, however small.
Celebrate Shared Wins: Highlight when a goal meets both family priorities and client interests—those are golden moments.
Model Flexibility: Therapy doesn’t have to look rigid. Adjusting plans shows respect for the client’s autonomy.

Final Thoughts: Consent Isn’t Just for Adults

Respecting assent helps make ABA therapy ethical, collaborative, and empowering. By chasing goals that matter not just to families, but also to the client themselves, we shift from “compliance” to true participation.

The question we should always be asking isn’t just:
“Is this the right goal?”
It’s also:
“Does the client want to be here with us while we work on it?”

Make Goals Meaningful – download the Assent in Action Guide and put client voice at the center.