Balancing the Love: Supporting Siblings of Autism

When you’re raising a child with autism, your focus can understandably be drawn toward therapy appointments, IEP meetings, and day-to-day behavioral strategies. But there’s another key player (or players!) in your parenting journey who deserves some spotlight too: the siblings.

Whether they’re older, younger, or twins, siblings of children with autism often grow up with a unique set of experiences—some beautiful, some challenging. And while they might not need daily therapy sessions or a behavior plan, they do need support, understanding, and opportunities to thrive in their own right.

Let’s explore how you can support sibling relationships while balancing the needs of your whole family.

1. Acknowledge Their Experience

It’s easy to assume siblings are “fine” if they’re not showing signs of struggle. But many siblings internalize their emotions—like confusion, guilt, or jealousy. They might not always say it, but they notice:

• Why their brother gets more attention.
  
• Why rules seem different.
  
• Why outings are sometimes canceled.
  

📝 Try This: Make time for regular check-ins. Ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about things at home?” or “Is there anything that’s been hard for you lately?”

2. Give Them Age-Appropriate Information

Kids are incredibly perceptive. If you’re not giving them the facts, they’ll come up with their own version—sometimes filled with worry or misunderstandings.

You don’t need to get clinical, but it helps to explain autism in simple, honest terms that make sense for their age. For example:

“Your brother’s brain works a little differently. He might have a hard time using words or understanding emotions, but we’re helping him learn.”

3. Create Special One-on-One Time

Siblings can sometimes feel like their needs are second place. Even short pockets of intentional time—reading a book together, baking cookies, or a solo grocery store trip—can send a powerful message: “I see you.”

📅 Pro Tip: Try scheduling a weekly 1:1 “date” with each child, even if it’s just 20 minutes.

4. Involve Them in the Journey (Without Making Them the Therapist)

Siblings can be powerful natural supports. Some love helping with visual schedules, modeling play, or using a token board with their brother or sister. That’s awesome—but it shouldn’t become a responsibility or expectation.

Instead of saying, “Can you help him calm down?”, try “Would you like to be part of our calming routine today?”

It’s about inclusion, not obligation.

5. Celebrate the Strengths of All Your Kids

When a child’s challenges require more time and attention, it can be easy to fall into a pattern where siblings feel overlooked. Make space to highlight their wins, too—whether that’s scoring a goal, drawing a cool picture, or being a good friend.

🎉 Tip: Keep a “family win jar” on the counter. Drop in little notes for each child when something goes well.

6. Consider Sibling Support Groups or Counseling

Sometimes, talking to someone outside the family makes a big difference. Many communities offer sibling groups for children of kids with disabilities—fun, therapeutic spaces where kids can connect with others who “get it.”

Ask your ABA provider or pediatrician if there are options in your area.

Final Thoughts: You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Navigating sibling dynamics can be tricky—especially when one child has complex needs. But here’s the thing: just by reading this blog, you’re already putting thought and care into creating a nurturing, inclusive environment for all your kids.

There’s no such thing as perfect balance every day. What matters most is connection, communication, and compassion. Your kids don’t need a flawless parent—they just need a present one.

Sibling Tip Jar 🏷️
Siblings play a big role too! This fun, printable jar is filled with simple tips, kind reminders, and conversation starters to help siblings feel supported and connected. Just print, cut, and start sharing!